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PMW op-ed: Tlaib and Omar are coming to Palestine

Maurice Hirsch  |

Tlaib and Omar are coming to Palestine

Blessed be the Palestine of the Egyptian. And woe to the Zionist European occupiers.

August 19, 2019
Congresswomen Rashida Tlaib and Ilhan Omar are on their way to tour Palestine. They are not coming to visit the Palestine referred to in the 1922 British Mandate affirmed by the League of Nations (the UN predecessor) in which “recognition has thereby been given to the historical connection of the Jewish people with Palestine and to the grounds for reconstituting their national home in that country.” Rather they are on their way to tour the Palestine of Egyptian-born Yasser Arafat.

So what will they see?
In order to stress the solidarity and common goals that tie the US and Palestinian democracies with the firm bond of shared interests, no doubt the first port of call for Tlaib and Omar will be the Palestinian Parliament and the seat of its thriving democracy. There Mahmoud Abbas will explain with gusto that as opposed to the governance crisis Israel has suffered, with no fewer than nine general elections in the last 25 years, in his superior Palestinian democracy there has only been the need to hold two general elections in that same period.

While there, Abbas will explain that as a sign of mutual respect the Palestinian constitution adopted the US practice and limited the term of the Palestinian president to two terms, each four years in length. When Tlaib and Omar note that Abbas has now been President for 14 years, he’ll smile in his grandfatherly way and explain, “That is the evil of the occupation and the settlements.” Well, of course. Who could possibly have come to any other conclusion?

Not wanting to be out done by the occupation, which has held half a dozen gay pride parades all around the country in the last few months, next on the itinerary, Tlaib and Omar will participate in the inaugural “Tlaib-Omar Palestine Gay Pride Parade” through a street in Ramallah. Like the parades in the occupation, throngs of gay Palestinian participants will walk proudly, bare-chested and adorned with the pride flag. Purely for the safety of the two respected congresswomen, security around the 10-meter road where the parade will be held will be tight. Some 200 policemen, 20 per participant in the parade, will ensure that no harm comes to the congresswomen.

AT THE end of the parade, as a gesture of goodwill to the congresswomen, Abbas’s Palestinian Authority has even vowed to do all it can to avoid the usual arrest, beating and torture of the gay participants that the evil occupation usually forces upon the helpless PA. Despite the inherent perils, Abbas will explain, “In your honor, the PA is willing to stand up to the occupation and show just how liberal the Islam practiced in the PA is.”

Next stop will be a visit to the Dalal al-Mughrabi Women’s Community Center. With a wide smile, grandfather Abbas will explain how the legacy of heroic Dalal is taught to all the Palestinian children via the new European funded PA school books. The books explain how Dalal is THE model for emulation, the best of the best of Palestinian society. Abbas will explain how the center was built with aid donated by Denmark, Norway and even the United Nations, all in honor of Dalal. “So who was this amazing praise worthy Dalal?” Omar will ask. “Oh,” Abbas will reply, “Dalal is the hero who lead the Coastal Road operation in 1978 against the Zionist enemy. Among the 37 Eastern-European, white, colonial settlers Dalal wiped out on that day, there were even 12 children.” But then the evil occupation killed her, while outrageously trying to claim that it was just trying to free her other hostages. “Occupiers as hostages? Can’t be.” Omar will concur.
While at the center, Abbas will explain the great efforts being taken by the PA to ensure gender equality. He will even show the progressive ground-breaking PA video on how to correctly beat your wife, to ensure that she receives the right educational message.

The next stop will be the occupied Al-Haram Al-Sharif/Al-Aqsa Mosque compound, or as the occupation refers to it, the Temple Mount. Relying on a combination of their invented Jewish history, their made up Jewish Bible and so-called historical works the likes of Josephus, the occupation tries to fool the world into believing that their imaginary Temples stood on the blessed site.

The occupation even relies on a guide to the Temple Mount published in 1925 by the Supreme Muslim Council that says that its “identity with Solomon’s Temple is beyond dispute.” But none of that is true. What do archaeologists, historians and the Supreme Muslim Council know anyway? We, the Palestinian Canaanites, have lived in this land since before creation and while Solomon’s Temple was allegedly built 1,600 years before Muhammad invented Islam, the site was, is and always will be, a purely Islamic holy site.

Blessed be the Palestine of the Egyptian. And woe to the Zionist European occupiers.

Lt. Col. (res) Maurice Hirsch is the head of Legal Strategies for Palestinian Media Watch. He served for 19 years in the IDF Military Advocate General Corps. In his last position he served as director of the Military Prosecution in Judea and Samaria. Tweets @mauricehirsch4.
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